American Medical System Absolutely SUCKS

[SXIPro]

Lost my baby brother David yesterday. Suffered from and battled prostate cancer gallantly for seven years. The end was phucking brutal. First off, I am one of four brothers. The oldest and youngest, Scott and Mark look EXACTLY like my Dad who passed 8 yrs ago from Alzheimers. Dave and I are the middle kids and we look like no one, so I just tell everyone who asks why I don't fit in, that we had a really good looking UPS driver back in the early 60s. But when I first went to see Dave in the ICU, he looked EXACTLY like my father when my father was dying. I mean EXACTLY. I actually got weak in the knees and almost fainted because of the flashbacks. My poor Mom had to watch her child die and relive watching her husband of 55 years die AGAIN. SO F'ING AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, for the last week Dave had been in the ICU. Now, he, like myself and my other brothers, all have DNRs after witnessing what my Dad went through in his final days. What we did NOT know was that a DNR goes much deeper than "don't apply the paddles if his heart stops" it goes as deeply as not providing hydration or nutrition. So for a phucking week I sat at David's bedside, with zero sleep waiting for my brother who was suffering in pain and having seizures, who was alert and responsive, but could not speak, to either starve or dehydrate to death, or finally succumb to the cancer. I was, and still am, so phucking angry at how this went down. I can NOT think straight. My anger issues are out of control. I nearly killed a fed ex driver with my bare hands last Friday for driving like 80 mph down this tiny curvy road through MY densely populated neighborhood. If the cops hadn't have shown up in the nick of time that piece of poop driver would be dead instead of just in the hospital, and I'd be in jail.

I begged the nurses and the doctors to let me take Dave home and help him 'move on' but I am not his health care proxy, my brother Scott is, and he is a chocolate, unfortunately, and wouldn't do what needed to be done.

I've already planned on how I am going out if my cancer comes back, and a hospital sure as hell will not be involved at all. Sorry for the rant but Jess Christ, palliative care in this country phucking sucks and NEEDS to change immediately.

 

[Big Kahuna]

Lost my baby brother David yesterday. Suffered from and battled prostate cancer gallantly for seven years. The end was phucking brutal. First off, I am one of four brothers. The oldest and youngest, Scott and Mark look EXACTLY like my Dad who passed 8 yrs ago from Alzheimers. Dave and I are the middle kids and we look like no one, so I just tell everyone who asks why I don't fit in, that we had a really good looking UPS driver back in the early 60s. But when I first went to see Dave in the ICU, he looked EXACTLY like my father when my father was dying. I mean EXACTLY. I actually got weak in the knees and almost fainted because of the flashbacks. My poor Mom had to watch her child die and relive watching her husband of 55 years die AGAIN. SO F'ING AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, for the last week Dave had been in the ICU. Now, he, like myself and my other brothers, all have DNRs after witnessing what my Dad went through in his final days. What we did NOT know was that a DNR goes much deeper than "don't apply the paddles if his heart stops" it goes as deeply as not providing hydration or nutrition. So for a phucking week I sat at David's bedside, with zero sleep waiting for my brother who was suffering in pain and having seizures, who was alert and responsive, but could not speak, to either starve or dehydrate to death, or finally succumb to the cancer. I was, and still am, so phucking angry at how this went down. I can NOT think straight. My anger issues are out of control. I nearly killed a fed ex driver with my bare hands last Friday for driving like 80 mph down this tiny curvy road through MY densely populated neighborhood. If the cops hadn't have shown up in the nick of time that piece of poop driver would be dead instead of just in the hospital, and I'd be in jail.

I begged the nurses and the doctors to let me take Dave home and help him 'move on' but I am not his health care proxy, my brother Scott is, and he is a chocolate, unfortunately, and wouldn't do what needed to be done.

I've already planned on how I am going out if my cancer comes back, and a hospital sure as hell will not be involved at all. Sorry for the rant but Jess Christ, palliative care in this country phucking sucks and NEEDS to change immediately.

I am so sorry to see this... You are in my thoughts.

 

[Quinc]

That is awful. And I agree. G'ma was in hospital for months. They would give her one med and that would cause an issue, they would give her another med and that would cause a heart issue and back and forth she went for months losing all her toes in the process. Finally she said f-it dont give me any meds I want to die. Once they stopped with the poison she got better in a week and is now living back at home and mostly taking care of her self for the last year.

 

[waterfreak]

This horrifies me as my wife is battling stage 4 kidney cancer.
I would think hospice would be a better place for your final days then some hospital pushing unnecessary meds prolonging the pain and the unavoidable.

 

[Big Kahuna]

This horrifies me as my wife is battling stage 4 kidney cancer.
I would think hospice would be a better place for your final days then some hospital pushing unnecessary meds prolonging the pain and the unavoidable.

My Mom passed away Tuesday Morning early, Been just too busy and forgot about posting here...... She was under Hospice Care at her home for the past month -6 weeks.. Hospice care is not going to do things to sustain life (IV, Force Nutrition). It is all about making the patient comfortable into the transition. So if the last days involves alot of pain meds to prevent pain, then that is what they will do. My Mom stopped eating on Thursday/Friday of last week, Saturday morning my sister asked if she wanted anything to eat, she said no..... It may seem cruel, but at this point in life, the body stops craving food and they do not have "hunger pains".

Steve, I did no know about your wife. I hope and pray the outlook is positive. You will be in my thoughts. I enjoyed meeting her in Daytona a few times.

 

[Quinc]

Funny story about G'ma.. When she decided to give up care she let everyone know she was going to die that night at 10pm. Most of us are 8-10hr drive away and it was snowing.. When we let her know earliest would get there is 1am said she would wait till 2am so we would get there in time. Then the look of surprise and shock/disappointment when she woke up at 7am to us standing there.

 

[Baja 252]

So sorry for your loss.
When my mom passed away at a care facility, they had something called comfort care. They did everything that would give her more comfort, but not CPR, medicine or life-saving measures.

 

[Big Kahuna]

Funny story about G'ma.. When she decided to give up care she let everyone know she was going to die that night at 10pm. Most of us are 8-10hr drive away and it was snowing.. When we let her know earliest would get there is 1am said she would wait till 2am so we would get there in time. Then the look of surprise and shock/disappointment when she woke up at 7am to us standing there.

2 weeks ago my sister went to see my mom.. my mom said "I'm still here!" And not the happy I am here version!

 

[WFO Speedracer]

Dad passed maybe ten years ago from Alzheimer's , at least he was at home when he passed , mom passed maybe 6 years ago she went to the ER and she died the next morning , to me that's as good as that situation gets . I am truly sorry you had to go through that ordeal and the way it all went down.