I have tried a few stock poles after riding with my xmetal all year so far.... I could barely ride with the stock pole! I remember the xmetal was weird for the 1st ride or two, but after that it was sooooo nice!
I tightened my bolts down after soaking them in acetone and then a generous application of red loctite.... I tightened them with my biggest wrench pretty much as hard as I could... it was super tight at first.... I had to push it up and down with force for a number of times... it moves a lot easier now, but it still stays wherever I put it. Give it a chance... you will get used to it I think...