F'ing thieves.
If I found a genie's lamp on a beach, one of my wishes would be the ability to instantly know who thieves and computer hackers are and specifically what they've done.
Today, it would go like this:
John Q Thief's phone rings:
John, "Hello"
Me, "Hey John, ever been to prison?"
John, "Who is this?"
Me (bluffing), "I'm the guy with the security tape showing you stealing two jet skis."
Silence from John.
Me, "I bet you didn't think you'd be getting this call, did you?"
John, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Me, "Well, I was hoping to work this out, but I guess I'll just run down to the police station with this tape, and you can run down to the store and buy some lube so you're time in prison won't be quite as bad."
John, "Hold on, what do you suggest?"
Me, "Let's start with arranging the return of the skis pllus $1,000 for mental anquish for the guy you stole them from."
It's just a little dream I have.