Today was a good day - the counter to trivial complaints

SXIPro

SXIPro

JM781 Big Bore
Location
Here on the 'X' mostly
Walked in to work today. It's Casual Friday so I have on Levis, an UA t-shirt and black Pumas (designed by my daughter :) ) Sit down at my desk, open my Outlook calendar and realize we have a few vendors coming in and some Company brass. I totally forgot about it since it's been so crazy at home babysitting my son's out of control dog. I get up, walk over to my Office Manager's door and say to her "Hey, am I ok dressed like this with what's going on today?" She looks up and says "Russell, you look good enough to eat". Then she turns completely red and starts apologizing profusely saying 'Honest to God, Russ, I really meant to just think that but not say it". LOL.
 
Big Kahuna

Big Kahuna

Administrator
Location
Tuscaloosa, AL
SXIPro said:
Walked in to work today. It's Casual Friday so I have on Levis, an UA t-shirt and black Pumas (designed by my daughter :) ) Sit down at my desk, open my Outlook calendar and realize we have a few vendors coming in and some Company brass. I totally forgot about it since it's been so crazy at home babysitting my son's out of control dog. I get up, walk over to my Office Manager's door and say to her "Hey, am I ok dressed like this with what's going on today?" She looks up and says "Russell, you look good enough to eat". Then she turns completely red and starts apologizing profusely saying 'Honest to God, Russ, I really meant to just think that but not say it". LOL.
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Your killing us..................
 
Big Kahuna

Big Kahuna

Administrator
Location
Tuscaloosa, AL
SXIPro said:
Yeah, but you wouldn't want pics of this one. Sweet girl, great personality, probably the kindest, most generous person I've ever known, but …..ummmm...yeah, great personality...….
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Was talking to Paul yesterday, comment came up about someones GF, "Wonder if she has any cute friends or something"........ Then I said, "You always have the girl that has all these good looking friends and one that is Fat or Overweight, not the greatest looking, But has the absolutely the best personality in the world and is not a total Bitch.... Related to another conversation we had.
 
SXIPro

SXIPro

JM781 Big Bore
Location
Here on the 'X' mostly
Yesterday, not today, but....was going hiking with my pup and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Got to the trail head and this little kid, probably 6 or 7 years old says 'Hey Mister, if you are gonna be hiking the trail by the river there are tons of mosquitos, so make sure you wear Deet. They've found a lot of mosquitos in this area with STDs!" I busted out laughing and thanked him for the advice and then heard his dad say "Riley, it's EEE not STD". :)
 
wavewarrior

wavewarrior

Location
sarcastomento
SXIPro said:
Yesterday, not today, but....was going hiking with my pup and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Got to the trail head and this little kid, probably 6 or 7 years old says 'Hey Mister, if you are gonna be hiking the trail by the river there are tons of mosquitos, so make sure you wear Deet. They've found a lot of mosquitos in this area with STDs!" I busted out laughing and thanked him for the advice and then heard his dad say "Riley, it's EEE not STD". :)
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That's funny
Here's a good joke on You tube of that subject
Some people don't understand the sarcasm of it
Jokes starts after the minute mark

 
SXIPro

SXIPro

JM781 Big Bore
Location
Here on the 'X' mostly
Went to a cookout at my brother's house last night. Ate a lot of good food and had a lot of good beer. Today for lunch I had some leftover Chinese food and a nice Octoberfest. Not sure if it was last night's dinner or today's lunch, or a combination, but I ended up with severe gas. The kind that can remove wallpaper. Mind you, I barely have a sense of smell due to a job I had when I was 19 pouring/sanding/inhaling epoxycast transformers and all the chemicals associated with that process, and still the stuff emanating from my backside was making my eyes water. Anyhow, I'm in my office with the door closed and the exhaust fan on and I sneak one of these sulphur bombs out. It's retched...hideous...disgusting. No sooner had the air turned green, my door swings open and my shipper/receiver guy walks in. I can see a look of confusion on his face as he's inhaling and he looks at me and says "Mmmmmm…...smells like you had rotisserie chicken for lunch, I should swing to the market and grab one too...." I have no clue where HE gets HIS rotisserie chicken, but I pray I never have to go there.
 
Big Kahuna

Big Kahuna

Administrator
Location
Tuscaloosa, AL
SXIPro said:
Went to a cookout at my brother's house last night. Ate a lot of good food and had a lot of good beer. Today for lunch I had some leftover Chinese food and a nice Octoberfest. Not sure if it was last night's dinner or today's lunch, or a combination, but I ended up with severe gas. The kind that can remove wallpaper. Mind you, I barely have a sense of smell due to a job I had when I was 19 pouring/sanding/inhaling epoxycast transformers and all the chemicals associated with that process, and still the stuff emanating from my backside was making my eyes water. Anyhow, I'm in my office with the door closed and the exhaust fan on and I sneak one of these sulphur bombs out. It's retched...hideous...disgusting. No sooner had the air turned green, my door swings open and my shipper/receiver guy walks in. I can see a look of confusion on his face as he's inhaling and he looks at me and says "Mmmmmm…...smells like you had rotisserie chicken for lunch, I should swing to the market and grab one too...." I have no clue where HE gets HIS rotisserie chicken, but I pray I never have to go there.
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Dying here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
G

garrcass

Location
Redding CA
This was a while back.... I sent this to my sister on FB..



So I go into the lowes bathroom to "take a poop" or leave one anyway! And there's some guy literally yelling and moaning like he is giving child birth in there... It was extremely dramatic for about a half minute at first it was almost mind boggiling.. But my sarcastic mind kicked In and i really wanted to start chantining a patern breathing excersize breathe in Shish shish shish oww, breathe in Shish shish oww. But I stopped thinking it might be some 60 year old dude with some blown out hemorrhoids from picking things up wrong and eating to many habaneros.... So I didint... About 4 to 5 seconds after this guy takes a big pause in his "poopspressions session" the guy in another stall says (you got to be licoriceing kidding me) in a pretty loud and anoyed manner...

At this point I am trying to not laugh and "keep my poop together" or at least from coming right out! I just really want to get a ass gasket on the seat so I can "drop the cosbys off at the pool"... My first attempt fell in the bowl and my second attempt was looking good and right when I thought I was going to take the next step in "handling my business" I couldint hold it together anymore... I started laughing reAlly lound and UN controlably literally couldn't stop i rushed out
washed my hands and just laughed the next 3 minutes after I got out of there... So the moral of the story is I have had the "poop scared out of me" before but this was the first time I have "laughed the poop right out of me"

So now I am poopting at home and telling y'all this poopting story...
 
Noah_g

Noah_g

Location
Wisconsin
It's a little out of focus, but all is right with the world today, again.
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Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
 
SXIPro

SXIPro

JM781 Big Bore
Location
Here on the 'X' mostly
Ever mis-read a text and almost have a heart attack?? Well, my phone, when I get a text gives me a notification that just shows the first two lines of the text plus the name of who sent it. So, I'm driving home for lunch and my phone 'dings' that I have a text from my son. I glance down and it says "Making adult moves today". I had to look at it three times because I read it every time as "making adult MOVIES today". And all I could think was, "Well good for you, son, but WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOUR OLD MAN THAT??!!"
 
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